The One Where She Deals With Some Shit

So. Some shit went down. Kyrgyzstan is know for having visa issues and we recently ran into some resulting in an almost evacuation of a group of volunteers and potentially getting sent home. While there is a long and political story linked to our struggles in the last month frankly I’m sick of talking about it. Basically an American award was given to an Uzbek man who in the eyes of Kyrgyzstan didn’t deserve it because of his involvement in the 2010 revolution. And then all hell broke loose. With ending American agreements and visa issues but we have come out the other side or maybe kind of like not the other side but before it like a weird angle but it feels good. While uncertainty is the absolute worst it tends to bring clarity. We are still slightly foggy and there are questions and struggles we deal with every day like if we might do this all over again in December, we are pushing forward. I have a project that I talked to some higher ups about today that I got some really great reviews about and I’m not ready to leave this place yet. Getting into a groove and feeling happy with my language process (while still slow and frustrating), making strong relationships and just being happy. Clarity in that while we didn’t know what was gonna happen I had a strong feeling of not being done here and a solid feeling of knowing this is what I should be doing right now. Leaving home and leaving my family and people I love behind is hard (duh) and there’s always moments of what the deuce am I doing here? And then your life gets rocked a little and it makes sense. So yes uncertainty sucks and the last couple weeks have really fucking sucked but for now it’s time to walk into the fog.

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