Anyone that has ever met my Mom loves her. And she’s the bomb.com so it’s hard not to. She’s the most amazing woman I know and a huge part of my life in an unlistable amount of ways. Also unlistable isn’t a word and I’m sure there’s a better word for it/actually a word but I’m listening to Adele so like I can’t think straight. She has taught me what it means to love and to be loved and she continues to teach me about compassion and being a woman and like I said an unlistable amount of things.
One thing that my Mom has always taught me about is faith. And now this isn’t necessarily religious faith (although if that’s your jam and you choose to take it that way feel free that’s cool with me) but faith in everything. That things will work out, that there is good in people, that there is someone somewhere looking out for us in whatever sense be it some sort of higher power or ghosts or like who fucking knows. But that someone has my back. So my Mom and I lived in Hawaii together when I was little and this is something that we did together, we have our matching Hawaii tattoos and it’s always been something that’s been part of our life together. Just me and Mom (and Aunt TiTi and Uncle Bike) but something that has come from this that not just my Mom and I do but my siblings do this too is that we look for license plates. It’s always crazy seeing who is driving around New York at any time and it’s turned into a game. But the jackpot and something special and different is a Hawaiian license plate. This is the OG. And this is a sign. It seems like when things are bad or when things are uncertain a Hawaiian license plate will show up. And like what are they doing in New York? Except to let me know that everything is gonna be ok.
Something else that Heather loves is Volvos, and especially Volvo station wagons. Those are the ULTIMATE MOTHER MOBILE. There is nothing better. Once she got a Volvo she pretty much hasn’t turned back and has converted Denis in the process. I learned to drive in a Volvo station wagon and they will forever make me think of my Mom.
Now I promise this is all going to come together.
But quite frankly the last two months here have been a struggle. The six month slump is a real thing. And I’ve had things happen at home that I hate that I’m not around for and there are things I’m dealing with here that are draining me in every sense of the word. So today after a struggle of a day I was eating a shawarma and waiting for my marshrutka and mostly dreading going home to a huge party for our new kaylyn and then it happened. No it wasn’t a Hawaiian license plate. But up pulled a Volvo station wagon and I nearly lost it in the middle of Karakol. I couldn’t believe it. I’ve never seen a Volvo in the 7 months I’ve been here and I really wasn’t ever expecting to see one and one just casually pulls up right in front of my face. A sign.
I of course immediately texted my Mom to tell her I was thinking of her and missing her (something I don’t do enough to any of the people in my life that I love, sorry Dad I miss you too I promise!) but sometimes it’s just that shock and that moment of thinking maybe there is something keeping it’s eye out for me. Whether it be Buddah or assorted Hindu Gods, or Aaron or whoever/whatever it’s comforting to think that for a second there could be SOMETHING. I don’t know if I believe in any sort of actual God but again if you’re into that good for you and organized religion isn’t my jam but I’m down with thinking that the Volvo/Hawaiian license plate Gods are keeping an eye peeled for me.